


pink wig, thick ass, give 'em whiplash

by shxrogane (minsazucar)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Mutual Pining, allura is an instagram baddie and pidge is Into THAT, mentions of virtual sugar daddies and other crude language lol, pidge is a scammer hack lord and allura is Into That, scammer/catfish au, slight implied shance bc who do u think i am, underage drinking (for all the americans)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-09 01:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12877008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minsazucar/pseuds/shxrogane
Summary: If you were to ask Pidge what the recipe for a perfect disaster was, it would definitely include: an overdrafted account, copious amounts of alcohol, and the shittiest dare Lance could come up with.Or, the story of how Pidge scammed a bunch of money by catfishing creepy dudes using the selfies of maybe the prettiest girl she’d ever seen: Allura Altea.---a scammer/catfish au for the Voltron Rarepair Bigbang!





	pink wig, thick ass, give 'em whiplash

**Author's Note:**

> i regret absolutely nothing

Like every bad decision Pidge has ever made, this one started with a few key ingredients: stress, boredom, and Lance. 

Tonight, the setting was Hunk and Lance’s shared dorm, and the occasion was an attempt at stress relief after midterm hell week. The certified Lance-phrase that sealed Pidge’s doom was muttered with a smirk, blue eyes shining as he grabbed a bottle of tequila.

“Hey Pidge, bet you can’t match me shot for shot tonight.”

Pidge knew a terrible decision when she saw one. But she was nothing if not competitive as hell, and so it was with gusto that she slammed her hands on the counter, smile sharper than Lance’s chin, as she took up his challenge.

“Oh, you’re so on.”

Hunk’s groans were easily drowned out with the sound of shot glasses clinking as Pidge and Lance took their first of many... _many_ … shots that night. Three hours and an empty bottle of tequila later saw them all sprawled on the ground, complaining their various woes into the stained dormitory rugs. 

“God, I’m so fucking broke,” Pidge groaned, rolling on the carpet. “Like I’m literally never _not_ broke. My bank account is always at $2 or it’s at -$20, there’s no in between.”

“Sucks ass, you gonna get another job?” Lance slurred, swinging his legs in the air.

“No way, doing the work study on campus is already bad enough-”

“But you get free coffee!” Lance screeched and Pidge slapped a hand over his face.

“-I literally don’t have time or energy for a second job.” Pidge finished, glaring at her friend.

Which was true. Pidge would be the first to call herself a genius, because she was; but even with brains like hers, handling an overload of classes plus a part-time job was tiring. Why oh why had she signed up for a double major? And on an accelerated graduation track no less. Lance settled down with a sigh, sitting up to face her fully. 

“Yeah, if only you were hot, then you could just find a sugar daddy or something.” He kept squinting at her, as if he was trying to find something vaguely appealing. _Rude._

“Excuse you! I’m plenty hot!” She jolted up from the carpet, sending her head spinning, but she stood by that statement. Just because she put minimal effort into her appearance didn’t mean she wasn’t hot.

“Pidge, no offense, like I love you, but if a man twice your age approaches you offering to be your sugar daddy, for the love of God, run away. Cuz he’s probably into some really messed up porn to be lusting over you.” 

Lance had his hands raised, as if to try and pacify her. Yeah, it wasn’t working. She was getting pissed.

“I’m trying really hard not to be offended right now.” She grumbled through clenched teeth.

“Let me rephrase: Pidge, you’re adorable in the ‘wow you’re 19 but you totally look 12’ type of way, and any 50 year old man who’s into that must be avoided at all costs.”

Although it was said like a joke, Pidge could see the sincerity in Lance’s eyes. Why’d he have to be such a big brother, like, at all times? She deflated and flopped back onto the carpet, staring intently at the ceiling.

“Whatever. I could probably catfish them or something.” She countered half-heartedly.

Now _that_ made Lance laugh. Pidge bristled a bit at that.

“No way.” He breathed out, once his laughter had died down.

“I totally could! I could be a catfish extraordinaire! I have no shame!” She exclaimed, poised and ready to fight again.

But Lance didn’t continue to fight her. No, instead his eyes got that gleam, that sparkle that meant _trouble_ , and she could already guess what the next words out of his mouth were gonna be.

“Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt, I dare you-”

“Lance, think about what you’re doing.” Hunk interrupted before he could finish, but Lance took it all in stride.

“You’re right Hunk. Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt, I _double dog dare you_ to create a catfishing account and scam at least three guys in the next month.”

His smirk was full blown as he finished his challenge and the dorm room fell silent. Pidge felt a bubbling of doubt deep in her gut, but that could’ve just been the tequila. Either way, she swallowed it down and extended her hand with a grin just as sharp.

“Leandro “Lance” Espinosa, you’re so on.”

Hunk’s eyes darted between his two friends and he stood up with a sigh.

“Alright, I’ll get started on the contract.”

 

The next morning, Pidge woke up with dry mouth, a killer hangover, and the “double dog dare” contract taped to her forehead. 

“Goddamnit Lance.”

 

 

It took a solid three days of minimal sleep to build the perfect catfishing profile. There was a certain art to creating a successful account, she soon learned. Twitter seemed to be the best platform for casual interactions, which was exactly what she needed. She hacked a few popular accounts of sugar babies and took notes on the language they used in private messages, how they timed their requests for funds, all the good stuff. By the end of the third day, Pidge felt she’d created quite the convincing account.

All that was left were the _pictures_.

She needed pictures for her profile and for an arsenal of selfies she could send when dudes requested pics. This was no simple task. She needed to find someone with enough social media presence to have an abundance of selfies, but also someone obscure enough to not draw attention to her fake account. Most importantly, she needed someone that fit the right type of “look.”

As much as she hated to admit it, Lance was right: Pidge didn’t have the right type of “look” for this. But this girl… this girl definitely did. She’d had to scroll through several pages of google image results for “instagram baddies” to finally stumble upon this girl. It wasn’t the “best” picture she’d seen so far, but there was something really captivating about it. Something extremely charming about the white hair and bright smile, blue eyes shining with a certain dangerous edge to them.

But most likely, it was just Pidge being real fucking gay.

No time to dwell on her gayness though, there was work to do. Pidge cracked her knuckles and got to it. From that one blurry google result she was able to trace the photo back to several social media accounts. The girl’s name was Allura Altea, and she was _perfect_. She had the perfect amount of selfies and candids, while also not having a huge social media following. Her accounts were mostly private -- which Pidge easily circumvented -- and her location settings placed her somewhere in England. Most of all, she was _stunning_.

“I’m gonna scam _so many_ dudes.”

In just a couple hours, Pidge had downloaded every selfie she could find. She uploaded a select few to her profile, keeping the rest in a folder for later use. Now, all she had to do was sit and wait. Let the phishing begin.

 

 

For a week or so, everything went smoothly. Some guys were seriously just so _desperate_. It also helped that Pidge hadn’t been lying when she claimed to have no shame. She knew exactly what these guys wanted to hear and she had no problem giving it to them. They were practically eating out of her virtual hands by now.

Most of her winnings so far had been small, but they were plentiful. One dude would send her $10 for a text conversation; another guy would send her an extra $20 for some new pictures. The only thing she hadn’t done yet was take offers for phone conversations. Pidge hadn’t quite mastered her ‘sexy voice’ yet; it was a work in progress.

Then she encountered something that she simply… hadn’t considered happening.

“They want a selfie of… _what_?” Pidge murmured to herself, re-reading the DM for the fifth time.

She sat there for a moment in disbelief, but the text was there, plain as day on her computer screen. This dude was willing to fork over $200 on paypal… for a selfie of her trying to lick her elbow. Well, not _her_ , but the chick she was pretending to be. Aka, Allura Altea, who had no pictures even remotely close to that. Even knowing this, Pidge frantically scrolled through her folders of selfies, desperately hoping she’d missed something.

Nope. No elbow licking photos. Pidge sat in her dark room, staring dejectedly at her computer screen. A hundred dollars...that would’ve been her biggest winning yet. And of course this guy knew to ask for the most ridiculous picture ever. He must be a seasoned virtual sugar daddy, weeding out the fakes and imposters.

“Well played, cumlord420,” she murmured, squinting at the twitter handle like it personally offended her.

She sat there, stewing in her dejection for all of three minutes before sitting up with a start. No, she would _not_ be defeated here. She reached for the half empty cup on her desk, chugging the lukewarm mountain dew and vodka mixture, before formulating her plan of attack. Alright, it was now or never. The rest of her catfishing career hinged on this moment.

Determination (and vodka) running through her veins, she shot cumlord420 a quick reply, something like “oh, hold on daddy, I need to get some alone time to take this pic~”. He, of course, responded enthusiastically. Pidge could have this guy, hook, line and sinker… as soon as she got her photo. Which brought her to the next phase of her plan.

Contacting the one and only Allura Altea.

 

⥎⥎⥎

 

It had been a long day. Well, more like a long _week_. Between getting settled into her new apartment, dealing with jet lag, and getting acquainted with the city, Allura felt like she could die of exhaustion. At least tomorrow would be a much needed rest day. She could get a full 8 hours of sleep and maybe treat herself to a spa day. Lord knows her skin needed it, not adapting well to the drastic change in climate. Las Vegas was _nothing_ like London.

Allura was just about to grab some makeup wipes and go to bed when the notifications came in. It was a follow request on twitter from what seemed like a spambot. She wouldn’t have glanced twice at the request except, curious thing was, its profile picture was _her_ picture. She quickly slid her phone open, visiting the strange page and hoping it was just a glitch. Her jaw dropped; it wasn’t a glitch.

She hated jumping to conclusions, but this very much looked like someone had made a sugar baby account using her selfies. She wasn’t sure if she should feel flattered or scandalized, so she settled on feeling an even mix of both. If this person was stealing her photos, why did they just follow her? Was it an accident? It was then that Allura got another notification, a mention from the same twitter.

_[@princess_altea pls follow back so i can DM you (;-;)]_

The message just confused her even more, not knowing what to think about this bizarre situation. But, it was the little crying emoji face that convinced her to give them a chance, at least to explain themselves. What, it was a cute emoji, okay? Anyone who used it couldn’t be _that_ bad. Alright, and maybe also her judgement was a bit impaired, seeing as it was almost 3am. She clicked the follow button and waited. Not seconds later she received a DM, presumably from this strange account.

**@babieegirl702** : _[hey so ur probs real freaked out but pls hear me out. my name is pidge, im a broke college student, and thru a strange series of events, i ended up catfishing dudes online for extra cash. using… yknow, your pics. bc ur like, super gorgeous, yknow?]_

Allura blinked at the message, willing herself not to react to the obvious flattery. Another message soon followed.

**@babieegirl702** : _[look, im sorry about like, stealing ur pics and stuff, and i just risked this whole endeavor by contacting you, but listen. listen. there is a dude who is right now, this very minute, legit offering me $200 if i send him a pic of me (aka YOU) trying to lick your elbow. i dont have a photo even close to that. so like… can you find it in ur lovely heart to help a broke bitch out, pls?]_

Well now, that was interesting. Allura’s curiosity won out over her common sense; really, any sensible person would have probably reported this fraudulent account from the get go. But Allura wasn’t like most people. Most importantly, Allura was _intrigued_. This could be… fun.

**@princess_altea** : _[Alright, pidge. If that’s even your real name…]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[actually my real name is katie, but i prefer pidge]_

**@princess_altea** : _[I see]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[sorry]_  
**@babieegirl702** : _[pls continue]_

**@princess_altea** : _[I’m feeling gracious tonight, so I’ll lend you a hand, but under one condition.]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[YES QUEEN NAME YOUR PRICE I’LL DO IT]_

**@princess_altea** : _[Send me selfies of yourself for every picture you have of me. Plus one of you licking your elbow as well, of course]_

Allura sent the message and anxiously awaited a reply. She didn’t think her demand was asking too much, not at all. If this person really had access to so many of her private photos, then it was only fair that she have her own stash of photos. Plus, she was kind of really interested in what this Pidge person looked like. She wanted to see the face of someone who could pull off a stunt like this. She sat up straighter when her notifications sounded off, checking Pidge’s reply.

**@babieegirl702** : _[done. for the record, i have 87 pictures of you, hacked from several social media sites… so it’s gonna take me a while to compile pics of myself. but here’s the elbow licking as a starter]_

Allura opened the attached photo, not sure of what to expect. She was pleasantly surprised by what she found. The photo was taken from a webcam, the only lighting in the dark room being the illumination from the computer screen. But it was enough light to capture the features of this Pidge person… or Katie, or whatever their name was. 

They weren’t ugly at all. Cute in their own quirky way, even. The alien hoodie they wore almost drowned their small frame, and the glasses and wild hair were distracting; but their face was thin and delicate, pretty brown eyes framed by smudged liner. What remained of what might have been green gloss stained their lips, and was that a tongue piercing? They had a whole ‘lazy punk goth’ thing going on; Allura could definitely appreciate the style. 

She could also clearly see that Pidge probably couldn’t scam guys with their own selfies though. She smiled and sent back a response.

**@princess_altea** : _[Hmm, it’ll do. But I’ll be waiting on the other 87, or else I’m exposing you for fraudulence.]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[gimme a day and your wish shall be granted my angel, my savior]_

Allura laughed. How melodramatic. She stood up to find an area with better lighting for her own photo. Pidge was lucky she had yet to take off her make up. She positioned the webcam and contemplated how best to take such a ridiculous picture. Pidge had taken a picture without any regard for how silly they looked. Allura wasn’t sure that was the correct route to go with this. After all, someone was going to pay money for this picture, right?

She took a few test photos and sent over the best ones. She’d settled on a mix of coy, playful and embarrassed. Had she any real shame, she might’ve blushed at the way her tongue poked out teasingly, at the way her eyes sparkled in the light. But Allura rarely had shame when it came to her looks, and 3am Allura had no shame about _anything_ whatsoever. She didn’t have to wait long for Pidge to respond.

**@babieegirl702** : _[HOLY SHIT ALLURA these are PERFECT how the heCK did u make elbow licking sexy???]_

**@princess_altea** : _[It’s a lost art, I’m afraid. Good luck little pigeon. Scam on.]_

She tapped her fingers on the keyboard, contemplating for a moment before sending another message. She, for some reason, didn’t want their conversation to end just yet.

**@princess_altea** : _[Let me know how it goes. I’ll be patiently awaiting my payment till then.]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[totally yes of course your wish is my command. do u prefer to be called princess? queen? empress of the UNIVERSE?]_

**@princess_altea** : _[Hmmm well, my twitter handle IS princess_altea, so take a guess ;) Also, if you don’t mind my asking, what pronouns do you use?]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[princess of my Heart. and yo dont worry, i use she/they pronouns. hah, usually i got them listed on my profile but… this profile… is fake… i forgot]_

**@princess_altea** : _[Well little pigeon, now I’m going to have to ask you to reveal your social media accounts as well. Since you, obviously, have access to all of mine somehow.]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[hhhhnnhmgmm yeah sorry abt that im also a hacker on the side, instagram security settings are weak as hell lol. i dont got lotsa social media...i got a tumblr? u want that?]_

**@princess_altea** : _[Yes if you don’t mind. Now I’m curious what the blog of a hacker and scammer looks like :)]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[id say pls dont judge me but i stole ur identity, ur free to judge me as much as you please]_

Allura eyed the link curiously before clicking on it. She couldn’t help but smile once the page loaded. Oh yeah, she could definitely believe this blog belonged to the girl in the photo. It had the same black and green aesthetic, filled with shitposts and pictures of aliens. She scrolled through a bit, snorting occasionally, before exploring further. There was an about page _and_ a selfie tag, her lucky night. She hummed thoughtfully, debating which to click on first. She decided on the about page.

‘Pidge, she/they, 19, broke college student, gay as fuck.’ Well, _that_ was informative. She’d already gathered that about the girl from their conversation. Except the fact that she was 19, that was new information. Oh, and the gay remark. That was good to know. It definitely added an extra pep to her click as she moved on to the selfie tag. Sadly, the tag was barren save for two blurry pictures. At least she could look forward to some actual pictures soon.

What? Allura had a _type_ , alright? And this Pidge girl was… kind of meeting all of her standards.

She went back to the main page of the blog and browsed around for a bit more. Allura knew she couldn’t exactly judge a person’s entire personality from a social media account, but she still felt a slight giddiness at how many shared interests they seemed to have. She was also a fan of how Pidge seemed to talk so much in the tags; those blogs were always the most fun to follow. 

Her extremely late night blogging was interrupted by a long yawn, the type that brought tears to her eyes. She quickly hit the ‘follow’ button on Pidge’s blog and closed the tab, lest she lose another hour of sleep to night blogging. She closed her laptop and picked up her phone, sending one last DM on twitter to her new acquaintance. Was it presumptuous to call her a friend already? Online relationships were strange.

**@princess_altea** : _[I’ll be signing off now, thank you for making my night interesting I suppose lol.]_

**@babieegirl702** : _[any night that ends without police involvement is a good night]_  
@ **babieegirl702** : _[that sounds bad, i swear im not a criminal]_  
@ **babieegirl702** : _[besides the hacking thing, but no one’s ever caught me for that]_  
@ **babieegirl702** : _[ok ill shut up now goodnight]_

Allura laughed. Oh, she was going to enjoy her new _friend_. Very much so. 

 

⥎⥎⥎

 

Pidge practically skipped through the courtyard by the student union, eyes darting around looking for her friends. As usual, Hunk and Lance were perched at a table right outside the campus coffee shop. She grinned and hurried over, pulling a packet of papers from her hoodie pocket. She jumped up on a seat and slapped the papers down, thoroughly startling her friends.

“Read ‘em and weep, suckers!” She sat back haughtily as they stared at the papers in confusion.

“What? What’s this?” Hunk asked, flipping to the next page curiously.

“My bank statement, with a _multitude_ of paypal transactions from at least ten different guys I successfully catfished.” It was impossible to keep the smug tone out of her voice, so she didn’t even try, reveling in their shocked expressions.

“Holy shit Pidge, you actually did it?” Lance turned to her, eyes wide in disbelief. 

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Of course I did! We signed a contract! No way was I gonna take your gross ass penalty for failing a dare.” Just the thought of waxing Lance’s arm pits had her fighting back a gag.

“Dude, I’m just impressed you made so much money.” Hunk’s voice was full of awe, bringing a smile back to her face.

“Yeah, it is pretty impressive,” she drawled, obviously proud of herself. “And since I’m a gracious soul, I’m willing to pitch in a good amount for our post-finals bar hop.”

Lance and Hunk both stared at her with hope-filled eyes. When it became obvious she wasn’t joking, Hunk cheered and Lance grabbed her hand reverently.

“You are an _angel_ ,” he cried, making to kiss her hand.

She pulled back with a squawk but couldn’t help herself from laughing. Their post-finals bar hop was something they’d been doing for the past few semesters. It was a sacred tradition, filled with booze and bad decisions, and this one was gearing up to be the best one yet. What, with Pidge actually having considerable spare income to drink all night long. 

Their merry making was interrupted by a loud chime, coming from Pidge’s hoodie pocket. She fished out her phone with a frown and rolled her eyes.

“Hold up guys. Sugar daddy #3 is calling.” She swiped to answer as her friends fell silent. She adopted her now _perfected_ sexy voice, whining into the receiver, “Daddy, you can’t just call me like that. I’d feel _so bad_ if I missed your call.”

Lance turned to Hunk, face drained of color. “Hunk, can you bleach my ears?”

“Only if you bleach mine, dude.”

Pidge rolled her eyes and flipped them off, walking away to focus on whatever idiot #3 was asking of her. Apparently, he’d just been testing to see if she’d answer a random call. This dude was the clingiest of her scams so far, but he paid well, so she continued stringing him along for now. He offered to wire her an extra $50 for her troubles and all was forgiven. She waited for him to hang up first then dropped her act with a sigh.

Technically, the bet was over and she could stop catfishing. But she’d decided a week ago to keep it going through the rest of the semester, just to save money for the winter holidays coming up. And because she was reluctant to lose her reason for talking to Allura. To be fair, she probably didn’t really _need_ a reason to talk to Allura anymore; they’d crossed the line from strangers to friends rather quickly. But still… the whole catfishing gimmick gave Pidge a safety to fall back on.

Safe. Scamming made her feel safe. Of course it did. She scoffed at herself, but opened her twitter app regardless. She scrolled through her most recent messages with Allura, unable to keep herself from smiling when she got a new notification. 

**@princess_altea** : _[So, where’s my newest selfie, pigeon? I’m waiting~]_

Shoot, that’s right. She’d forgotten to send a selfie earlier. They’d settled on an arrangement a couple weeks ago where, instead of sending 87 selfies en mass, Pidge would send a couple selfies a day, whenever Allura asked for them. She glanced around to make sure her friends weren’t watching before opening her camera app and snapping a few selfies.

Pidge wasn’t vain per se, but she was rather confident in her own looks. These selfies looked especially good in her opinion, really showing how much time she put into her appearance today. She was wearing her favorite NASA hoodie with a leather jacket layered on top, matching nicely with her black lipstick. The weather was rapidly cooling as it got further into November, no more of the scorching Vegas heat to cramp her style. Pidge was at her strongest draped in huge hoodies, ripped denim and combat boots. 

Maybe Hunk and Lance didn’t appreciate her aesthetic, but surprisingly, Allura _always_ did. And it was no different this time.

**@princess_altea** : _[Tasteful choice in combining leather and comfort. Did you perhaps pair those tops with some jeans or leggings?]_

**@gaycryptid** : _[even better. fishnets. check it out]_

She smiled as she kicked out one of her legs, taking a pic of her tights and boots. It was kinda ridiculous how much Allura’s compliments brightened her mood. She didn’t have many friends that were as encouraging of her style, besides maybe Keith. It felt nice to find someone else that indulged her. In return, she often indulged Allura in her rants about makeup brands and new wigs; it wasn’t hard to indulge when Allura looked stunning in nearly everything.

Ah, yes, and _there_ were the gay feelings. Of course. Couldn’t forget about those.

Pidge did her best to keep them at bay, to just focus on their beautiful blossoming friendship. Just gals being pals. Because Allura was gorgeous and _way_ out of her league and also, like, in another country last time she checked. Not that they really talked about where they lived or anything, but all of Allura’s social media settings placed her in the UK. Lord knows Pidge wasn’t planning on going the the UK any time soon.

So it didn’t matter that Allura was super funny, and witty, and actually kind of a nerd; and it didn’t matter that they had tons of shared interests and that Allura understood her sense of humor and that Pidge would probably maybe hack into the Pentagon if Allura asked her to. Nope, it didn’t matter that maybe Pidge was kinda totally in love. 

Damn...

Thankfully, her sad, gay thoughts were interrupted by Lance’s annoying shouts. She huffed and tucked her phone away, strolling back over to the table she’d left her friends at. He was quiet when she sat down, typing away on his phone, and she raised a brow in question. Hunk smiled at her and shook his head.

“You free Thursday night?” He asked and she shrugged.

“Yeah, sure.” 

Her Friday lab had been canceled and her only plan had been sleeping in. If Hunk proposed something better though...

“Shiro invited us to a party, you game?” 

Hunk’s eyebrows were raised in anticipation, knowing she couldn’t pass up an invitation like _that_. Shiro’s parties were legendary. Lance scoffed and looked up from his phone, fixing them both with a glare.

“Excuse you, Shiro invited me to a party. And said I could bring friends. There’s a difference, Hunk,” he pouted, hunched over his phone defensively.

“Alright dude, chill. Your boner is showing.” Hunk chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

“Okay, gross. And yeah, I’ll come. Shiro’s the only frat boy I trust to throw a good party.”

They both looked up at her with bright smiles, the type that _definitely_ meant trouble.

“Awesome.”

 

⥎⥎⥎

 

Allura wasn’t quite sure how she ended up here: tipsy on a Thursday night at a _frat party_ of all places. This was her first time at this kind of event and it was both what she expected, yet totally unexpected. American movies could only prepare you for so much, it seemed. For now, she was happy to keep to her corner on a couch, back to the wall, scanning the party scene with sharp eyes. She swirled the contents of her near-empty cup, knocking back the last of her Jack and coke.

She had gone to the kitchen to refill her drink and returned to the couch to find Keith missing. Granted, she may have taken longer than intended; she _may_ have gotten lost a _few_ times, but honestly, she couldn’t have been missing more than ten minutes. Keith had most likely gotten impatient and left their spot to look for her. Hopefully he’d be back soon. 

She’d only agreed to attend this party because Keith had invited her, and she didn’t appreciate being left alone in a drunken crowd like this for so long. She fluctuated between feeling annoyed and concerned, because Keith really wasn’t the type to keep her waiting. She’d only known him for a few weeks, but Allura prided herself on being an excellent judge of character.

She huffed and stood up from her spot, tossing her empty cup into a nearby garbage can. Allura was not the type of person to sit still for long, either. She skillfully maneuvered her way through the crowd, making a beeline for the kitchen. It made sense he would look for her in the place she said she was headed towards. Keith was nowhere to be seen. She drowned her disgruntlement in another cup of Jack and coke -- more Jack than coke -- and made her way back out to the main party room.

She tried to stay close to the walls, walking the perimeter of the house, both on the lookout for Keith and just to see what else was going on. There were the usual, expected things at any sort of college party: beer pong in the garage area, a makeshift dance floor in the living room, people sitting around and chatting just about everywhere else. And then there were the things she had only seen in fiction, such as the group of people in the basement getting high and playing spin the bottle, and the group of chanting men cheering on someone doing a kegstand.

She grimaced as the man successfully completed a kegstand, and in record time it seemed. That could _not_ be healthy.

Allura made her way back to the main room, propping herself against a wall with a sigh. Keith was definitely going to get an earful once he turned up again. For now, she sulked a bit, occupying herself with people watching. 

There were all sorts of characters at this party, not just the typical jocks and cheerleaders as she anticipated. Her eyes caught the back of a particular person, something strikingly familiar, with their wild brown hair and oversized hoodie. But they disappeared into the kitchen before Allura could really get a good look at them.

She almost made to follow them, curiosity and whiskey running through her veins, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her in place. She turned with a scowl, staring up into a smiling face she vaguely recognized. Ah yes, the keg stand champion. For having just chugged that much beer, he looked relatively sober. She wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or disturbed. He quickly removed his hand upon seeing her scowl, but his friendly smile hardly wavered.

“Hey, you must be Allura. Keith told me all about you.” The guy smiled wider and stretched out his hand. “I’m Shiro.”

Shiro? Oh, _tha_ t Shiro. Allura dropped her glare at that, smiling apologetically at her _host_. 

“Oh, yes, Keith has told me all about _you_ as well.” She smiled wryly, shaking his outstretched hand. “This is… quite a party, Shiro.”

“First time at a frat party?” He took back his hand, tucking it in his pocket with a chuckle. 

“Yes,” she hummed, looking for the right words. “It’s… interesting.”

That got a good laugh out of Shiro, his dyed white fringe getting in his eyes as he shook his head. He raised his other arm, a prosthetic, to try and comb it back into place. He mostly succeeded. Allura’s smiled softened at that.

“That’s what most people say. I try to run the best ones, make sure nothing gets too illegal.” He waved around his hand, but then pinned her with a serious gaze. “Let me know if anyone bothers you or makes you feel unsafe, alright? That’s one of my rules and I make sure people follow them.”

“Thank you.” She smiled sincerely.

She’d intended to ask him next about where Keith might be when, suddenly, a new person barreled towards them. Allura started to frown at the interruption, but caught sight of the twinkle in Shiro’s eye, and settled instead for a neutral expression. It was a boy, perhaps around their age, with soft brown skin and deep blue eyes. Cute, but not really Allura’s type; that didn’t quite matter though, as he seemed to only have eyes for Shiro.

“Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?” The guy drawled at Shiro, and Allura couldn’t help but roll her eyes. How cheesy.

But Shiro laughed, genuinely _laughed_ , clapping the boy on the back. His expression brightened, a healthy flush rising on tanned skin.

“Glad you could make it, Lance.” Shiro smiled wide, letting his hand linger on Lance’s back.

Lance practically had hearts in his eyes by now, and Allura could tell Shiro only had eyes for _this_ boy as well. Interesting. She sipped her drink and backed away, getting lost in the crowd again. She didn’t fancy being a third wheel. She could continue her search for Keith on her own. 

It was starting to feel a bit stuffy inside, too much body heat in such an enclosed space. That’s when it struck her. _Outside_ , she hadn’t checked _outside_. If Keith would be anywhere, he’d be there. She felt silly for not considering it before. Allura stuck to the walls, making her way towards the back porch. She stepped outside and was surprised to see how _large_ the yard was. There was almost a second party out there, although noticeably less crowded. 

She strolled through the yard, eyes scanning for signs of her friend. She didn’t have to look long, spotting a familiar mop of black hair in the distance. Keith was sat in a relatively empty area, save for a single companion he seemed to be sharing a cigarette with. Allura wrinkled her nose but decided not to berate him about it. As she got closer, Keith turned and smiled, blowing out smoke before handing the cigarette back to his friend. 

“Allura, I was looking for you.” He sounded genuine, but Allura still felt a bit sour about being left alone for so long. She failed to notice how the other person seemed to freeze up.

“Could have fooled me.” She snarked back, but Keith only smiled apologetically, knowing he’d been forgiven. Had she been _truly_ angry, he would’ve known.

“Oh hey, so this is my friend Pidge.” He motioned to his smoking companion, who turned around stiffly at the introduction. Keith didn’t seem to notice the suddenly tense atmosphere. “Found her while looking for _you_.”

Allura blinked a few times, eyes taking in the small figure before her. At first, she was almost convinced that perhaps the name was merely coincidental. But as she took in Pidge’s wild brown hair, bright eyes, oversized hoodie and leggings… there was no doubt this was _her_ Pidge as well.

“It’s… very nice to meet you, Pidge.” She smiled, just the slightest bit strained.

“Same.” The smaller girl’s voice nearly cracked, and she tried to hide it with a cough. 

Allura’s lips twitched into something more genuine. She quickly lifted her drink and knocked back the remaining liquid, hardly wincing at the harsh taste. She turned to Keith, who was watching her curiously, and put on a winning smile. 

“Keith, would you be a dear and go get me another drink? I’m afraid I can’t mix them as well as you.” 

That wasn’t a complete lie; Keith was much better at making strong drinks that _didn’t_ completely taste like garbage.

“Yeah, sure. Might as well put my skills to use.” He shrugged, taking her cup. “You want anything Pidge?”

“Yeah, vodka. The whole bottle if you can. Please.” She only seemed to be half joking, nervously stubbing the cigarette out on the bottom of her boot.

Keith only raised a brow, but didn’t question anything, leaving without another word. Silence hung between them for a long moment, until Keith was _far_ out of earshot. Only then did Pidge clear her throat, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

“So…” She started, looking up at Allura timidly.

Funny, timidity was something Allura had never associated with Pidge. Not until now. She smiled.

“So,” she mimicked, smiling wider, “You’re a student here?”

“Uh, yeah, guess I never mentioned it. And uh, you totally like… aren’t in the UK right now.”

“No, I haven’t been for a while. I moved here almost two months ago.” Allura responded with a half-smile.

“Wow, ok, update your location settings then.” Pidge rolled her eyes with a scoff.

Allura looked at her with a confused frown. Her location settings? As in, the settings on her social media? She tried to recall if she had ever allowed those to automatically update, and belatedly realized she hadn’t. All her social media still listed her as living in the UK. She looked back at Pidge with wide eyes.

“Oh.”

Pidge snorted a laugh at that. “Yeah, _‘oh’_ , if I’d known you were here…”

She trailed off, looking down at her boots rather than up at Allura. Allura raised a brow curiously.

“Yes? What would you have done?” She asked sweetly, biting back a grin.

“Um, like, invited you to hang out. Or something. We’re like friends and stuff, so yeah.” Pidge mumbled, scuffing up her boots, still refusing to look back up.

“Yeah?” Allura asked teasingly, hopelessly enamored with this bashful side of Pidge.

“ _Yes_ , and how do you know Keith anyways?” Pidge hissed, finally looking up at Allura with a glare; the overall effect was softened by the obvious blush high on her cheeks.

“He’s a bartender at a hotel my family owns.” Allura answered easily, still smiling brightly at the shorter girl.

“Your family owns _hotels_?” Her jaw dropped and Allura fought the urge to reach out and tap it shut.

“Yes, that’s why I moved here.” She replied with a giggle. “I’m training to take over one of them.”

“Holy shit.” Pidge breathed, staring up at her in awe.

From this close, Allura could see that Pidge actually had some freckles dusting her cheeks. In pictures, the glare from her glasses must be enough to erase them, but they were very cute. Allura shifted a bit on her feet, staring hard at her small friend.

“You’re shorter than I imagined.” She blurted out, promptly flushing; alright, perhaps she was a bit tipsier than she first thought.

“Rude.” Pidge laughed, wrinkling her nose. Allura smiled.

“It suits you. Cute.” She reached out and booped Pidge’s button nose.

Alright, she was _definitely_ tipsier than she first thought.

“I… don’t know if I should feel insulted or not.” Pidge said slowly, caught between a smile and a grimace.

Allura frowned. “I hope you won’t, it’s a compliment. Really. I like short girls.”

“Oh my God.” Pidge snorted, but her face turned bright red.

Allura sent a quick thanks to the heavens for her dark complexion; she felt just as red as Pidge looked. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked Keith for another drink…

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Keith strolled back up to them, cradling two drinks and a beer for himself. He looked between them with a curious smile before handing the first cup over to Pidge.

“Got you vodka sprite, Pidge. Well, vodka with _some_ sprite.”

“ _Thank you_ , Keith.” She clutched at her cup desperately and Keith rolled his eyes.

“And a Tennessee Tea for the princess,” he announced with a smile, ignoring Allura’s scowl. “Trust me, it’s good.”

She took the cup and sipped at it slowly, ever the skeptic. But really, she should know better by now; Keith had yet to make her a drink that she didn’t like. As usual, the drink was delicious, and she was once again more than ready to drown in whiskey and bad decisions for the night.

“So, how do y’all know each other?” Keith asked casually, and both girls nearly choked on their drinks.

Alcohol prepared her for everything _except_ that. Any other time, her quick thinking would have taken over and answered Keith without missing a beat, but Jack Daniels was definitely hindering her reaction time. The pause was noticeable enough that Keith scoffed and prodded some more. 

“You can’t fool me, you know that right?”

“Online.” Allura blurted out the partial truth, her mind finally catching up with her. “We follow each other on tumblr. It was a little surprising to meet like this.”

A moment of silence. 

“Oh, cool. You an alien enthusiast too, Allura?” He teased.

Both girls smiled in relief. He believed them. 

“Well, I am now.” Allura laughed. 

“I was just saying,” Pidge butted into the conversation, sounding thoroughly affronted, “if I’d known she lived here I woulda invited her to hang a lot sooner. So why haven’t _you_ invited her anywhere?”

“Dude, chill. It’s not like I’ve been hiding her. We just usually hang out at work, it’s convenient.” Keith shrugged with a careless smile.

“Lazy.” Pidge grumbled into her drink. Keith rolled his eyes, but spoke up again.

“Well, hey, we’re doing that bar hop again soon, right?” He offered the remark as a compromise almost.

“Bar hop? Is that like a pub crawl?” Allura frowned, still unfamiliar with some American lingo.

“Yeah, jeez, you Brits and your language.” Keith mumbled through a smirk.

“We do it to celebrate the end of the semester, which is like, in two weeks.” Pidge explained further, staring up at Allura hopefully.

“Yeah, come along if you’re free.” Keith added, and honestly, how could she say no to them?

“I’d love to.” She replied with a bright smile before looking down in confusion. “Wait, Pidge, aren’t you considered underage in the States? The drinking age here is 21.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been making fake IDs since I was 14. I’m a pro by now.” Pidge shrugged, completely nonplussed.

“That’s… kind of hot.” Allura admitted, eyes sparkling with interest. 

What? She had a thing for rule-breakers.

“Y-yeah?” Pidge practically squeaked, coughing up a bit of vodka.

“Yeah.” She agreed with a sly smile.

Keith made a strange strangled noise before slowly backing away. 

“Wow, okay, I’m just gonna go if you two are gonna do this all night.”

Pidge happily waved him away with a wink.

“Hunk should be playing pool if you’re feeling lonely.”

Keith flipped them off as he stormed away. Allura giggled and turned her sharp eyes back to the object of her affection.

“So, do tell, what other morally gray activities do you partake in?” She drawled, tilting that much closer towards the girl.

Pidge’s eyes sparked with mischief as she leaned in as well.

“Oh my God, okay, so there was this one time we almost got arrested for trespassing, right? I wanted to explore this ‘haunted’ location, and Keith was the only one with enough balls to join me.”

Allura laughed in delight as Pidge continued with her animated misadventures. They spent the rest of the evening like that, huddled close under the cool Las Vegas night. Their shared body heat and liquor running through their veins was enough to keep them warm into the wee hours of the morning. 

When it finally came time to part, Allura could feel nothing but giddy joy, because their parting came with the promise of meeting again for lunch. As she climbed into her Uber and watched the rising sun on the horizon, she could do nothing to restrain her lovestruck smile.

It felt like the beginning of something truly beautiful.

 

⥎⥎⥎

 

“Alright nerds, we know the plan. We start at Atomic Liquor, end at Odd Fellows. Got it?”

Hunk and Lance cheered enthusiastically in assent. Keith just nodded with an eager spark in his eyes. Pidge looked over to Shiro and Allura, who both gave subtle thumbs up and she grinned.

“Alright then, let’s get this annual bar hop started!” 

The four boys took off first, strolling energetically into Atomic Liquor. Pidge hung back and waited for Allura to saddle up next to her. The taller girl grabbed her hand and smiled brightly, pink gloss shining prettily in the downtown lights.

“Well, lead the way little pigeon.” She giggled teasingly and Pidge didn’t hesitate to tug her girlfriend forward.

_Girlfriend._

It still gave her a headrush to even _think_ the word. As they downed their first drinks of the night, Pidge glanced over at Allura, radiant as ever, and felt her heart soar. One day, Pidge was going to thank Lance for putting her up to that dare; it was that stupid scam that brought them together. 

Allura caught her gaze and sent a wink her way, bright blue eyes glittering. Yeah, Pidge owed a big fat gay thank you to Lance. But not tonight. Tonight was just her, and her gorgeous girlfriend, and her stupid friends, and copious amounts of alcohol.

Pidge literally couldn’t ask for anything better.

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed! i had a lot of fun writing this and it was an AU that's been on my mind for quite some time, so it was great to finally get it out to the world~
> 
>  
> 
> [completely inspired by this lol](https://fratboyshiro.tumblr.com/post/161908752725/asapwalky-scam-on)
> 
>  
> 
> PLEASE check out the art by my WONDERFUL artist, skattig! they were so great to work with and their piece is totally awesome!!!
> 
> alright that's about it. come hmu/support me on tumblr @[fratboyshiro](https://fratboyshiro.tumblr.com/)


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